Tuesday, February 5, 2008

everything i am

today is 'super tuesday,' but i don't feel super. instead, i feel empty and turbulent and small and my heart aches for the mess i've made. i know i've said i want to feel the edges of things...well, today, i do. sharp and cold and skeptical. the butterflies have left for greener girls.

the time will come, soon enough, for the placing of blame and the taking of sides and when it does, know this: i am everything you think i am. i am the breaker of hearts, the killer of dreams, the speaker of that which should remain unspoken. i am not the kindest person you will ever meet. and i am so, so sorry. and i am hoping forgiveness will find me somewhere down the road.

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