the move, part three

i'm up early. mainlining coffee, watching the movers and mulling over karaoke options. in the midst, one thought keeps popping up, ' damn. i have a lot of stuff.' the movers, fernando and lupe, say that my load is light compared to some that they've seen ... but i don't think they've fully waded into the closet, yet, so they may wish to reserve judgement.

elvis is shut into the laundry room and i can see his little pout peeking through; the cats are in hiding and i can't decide whether to be sad or excited. actually, that's not true. since no end is every really complete without a new beginning stirring inside, today, i choose 'excited.'

it is time to move on ... time to cut the cords that have bound me to the old ways and outdated conventions ... time to free myself to accept sweeping change. it would have been wrong to simply dwell on the gap between where i stood and where i want to be. i can only hope that those i'm leaving behind know this journey isn't meant to reject or hurt them in any way. it is simply a time to move toward my ultimate interests - the wheel of change is ready to spin onward, ever evolving, ever staying the same.

still, there is guilt. guilt borne of distant possibilities. even as i know it is, at last, my turn.

the boxes are disappearing quickly, now, into a tiny space in their enormous truck. who knew the contents of my life would fit into a space measuring 10x10?

and there they go ... down the street, out of the neighborhood and on their way to california. the journey has officially begun.