the way the world works now

citizenship in this country is broken and the questions loom large and beg furiously ... how did we let this happen? who was supposed to protect it and hold it dear? was it me?

of course it was me. but it wasn't only me; i wasn't alone in this dilution of democracy. and i certainly wasn't the one holding it up as a savior, all the while sculpting it into a scheme to preserve my personal wealth. and it doesn't matter who's to blame; blame holds no interest for me. but i need something more than silence and vague promises.

(and i know my political voice is 'beginnerly,' at best, but still...even i know there's things to know. there's a dialogue to be started here, a discussion to be led, and it makes me profoundly angry to find that those in the position to do so seem unwilling to put forth the effort.)

i need some inspiration, i think. i need to know i'm not the only one who believes a woman not afraid to consider her power, find her voice and embrace a sense of urgency isn't to be ignored or feared or silenced. i need to know one of these candidates believes a woman who doesn't go to church, who doesn't have children, who makes decisions for herself about who enters her head and her home and her womb still has a voice here.

if i can find that, i think i'll have hope again for the new beginning i hear tell of. of course, it begs the question as to whether we, as a nation, still have what it takes to undertake that beginning. too, i wonder if we'll even know what that looks like?

i'd like to think that those of us who are tired of the way the world works now will create this new beginning through our choices, but, i can't make up my mind - i'm still waiting for a candidate to speak to me with his or her vocabulary of faith. maybe i'm not reading enough.

still, i take comfort in the idea that the world is round, and the place that may seem like the end may only be just the beginning. and i really hope that's true this time.