where i'd like to be tonight

no matter where i was today, i wanted to be someplace else.

i thought it had to do with being awake when i could have slept so much longer. i thought it had to do with driving so far to work when i'd like to live just a few minutes away. i thought it might have to do with being stuck inside the store on such a beautiful california day when i'd rather be at the beach.

at the very least, i thought i might be able to shake the feeling loose, once i made my escape and was on the way home.

i was wrong.

now that i'm here, there are a hundred other places i'd rather be:

drinking coffee and laughing -loudly- with tri
at a bar in newport beach, dancing - wild and silly and carefree - with em & m
at the jason mraz concert at the troubador in la (which sold out online before i could even log in.)
drinking hot chocolate and waiting in line for the matterhorn
hiding in a box and waiting to scare someone with amy
watching shannon sing 'goldfinger' at spotlight karaoke
anywhere with laurie t.
in a space of my own
november, 1983
asleep

in this moment, though, none of these things are possible. there are too many unknowns, too many things to say, things to settle, and it feels i'm miles away from any of the above.

how do i get there from here?