to whom it may concern ...

dear ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX and CW, etc...

i am a grown up.

and by 'grown up' i mean: i have a job. i am in a relationship (which is not a pre-requisite, by the way). i have friends and pets who i love and who love me. i am no longer 25. i have a hobby. i take vacations. i don't call my mother as often as i should. i worry about my weight and my hair color and my retirement and whether the democrats will stay in power. i buy things (or i used to before the economy tanked and i will buy things again. with a vengeance!). i have a brain. i watch TV.

it bears repeating ... i buy things. i have a BRAIN. I WATCH TV!!

please stop canceling and/or destroying the shows i watch. seriously.

there are others like me out there. i've seen them. i've talked with them ... at work, in line, online ... we LOVE TV. and we're worried you're wrecking it.

see, great writing, complicated (yet realistic) story lines, women who might not look good in bikinis ... these are the things we crave. these are the things we invest in.

we, your grown up audience, are loyal and true. when we find a show we like, we stick like glue. (oh, look. i rhymed.) we tell our friends. we rearrange our schedules. that takes time. we need you to recognize that. three episodes doesn't give us enough time to change our work schedule, find something else for the kids to do, or to figure out when the show is even on.

so, please. stop looking for the next 'friends.' stop trying to recreate 'lost' and 'the x files.' be brave. be bold. support good writing. reward great storytelling. give our shows a chance. develop more shows for us and we won't disappoint you.

listen to us. choose us. love us.

don't give up. save some TV for the grown ups.

warmest regards,

leigh anne

p.s. you understand, right, that if we can't work this out, we're going to have to see other people. i've got cable now and i'm not afraid to use it.

navigation

my apologies for the 'quiet.'

it is a silence is bourne of obligation and activity, friends and a good bit of fun - equal parts 'fundamental' and 'environmental' -and not from a desire to remain at a distance.

my life is good. mostly.

i know this because i've been taking stock ... counting, searching for answers and reasons for it all. and i'd like to think it's the idea of moving or aging or balancing my checkbook that has me out of balance.

but it isn't.

even in the midst of these most glorious of times, i find myself struggling, profoundly, with the idea of the future - and balancing the pleasure of 'now' against the pain of 'before' and the question of 'next.'

i am hoping that the erosion of that which had seemed solid is not wrong; i am hoping it means that something new, something better, something stronger has been created. i think of ice floes, hardened in winter, dispersing in the warmth of spring; when the ice melts, a mighty river emerges. but, i am still hardened in winter ... and i wonder... does it ever get easier? should it? where i used to wear my heart on my sleeve, will i now wear my uncertainty?... branded for eternity with a scarlet 'u?'

i'd like to think that there has never been a question i'd end up here ... that if there is a question, it isn't 'where' or 'who' ... only 'when.' i'd like to think that under my ignorance and along side my real life, there is this mindless certainty, humming blithely along, ensuring i will finally come together with that which is best for me - bringing me to the place where i'll either stumble, crash or live my way into my whole life's happiness. coming to life is never a conscious decision.

it would be simple, at a time like this, to dismiss everyone. but as idiotic and painful as it may be, i am a true believer in that wonderful mythical law of nature that says the three things we crave most in life ... happiness, freedom and peace of mind ... can only be obtained by giving them to someone else.

and so, i'm challenging myself to remember what is good and allowing my imagination to discover the evolutionary potential in these experiences. i am making a conscious decision to delight in even the quirkiest of life's developments.

still, my most fervent hope is to navigate these waters with patience and kindness and few regrets, save for the breaking of hearts. it's a delicate business, this closeness. you can never be sure how hardy another's heart will be. likewise, you can never really know your own - which i quite like, i think.

besides, no one breaks my heart like i do.