turbulence

this week i empty and turbulent and small.

my heart aches for the mess that she's made. i want to feel the edges of things and today, i do. sharp and cold and skeptical. the butterflies have left for greener girls.

would you mind if i rest with you awhile? nuzzle my head into your chest. feel your fingers tangled up in my hair. until, finally, i can fall asleep and this ache in my jaw and fog in my head falls away for a moment of clean breathing and peaceful dreams.

my schedule is upside down this week. days off in odd places, early mornings at the store ... making it hard to find time and space in which to think and feel my way through my melancholy. so, as i leave for work, i'll keep my hands in my pockets, hide my heart in a bag and wait for the turbulence to dwindle down.

and somewhere in the middle of this week, my happiness will start slowly creeping back. that much i know. (will it ever start sinking in?)

i hope this first monday after the holiday finds you on your way towards 'rested' and happy. don't rush too much. ease into your stream as best you can ... the water is bound to be cold. and if you can, take care of me a little.