a piece of cake

dear 'mo' ...

in texas, it's long past midnight, and so, as always, i am a bit late for this very important date. in the olden days, i'd have called and awakened you at the proper hour, but with the wee one and the sleepy husband, we'll have to settle for this letter from far too far away.

i have been crazy about you since before i met you - when, over martinis, dan said, 'oh my god, you and shannon will be so dangerous together. you have to meet her.' (and then, over martinis, i did.)

'you'll love her!' and i do.

when people ask me how long we've been friends, i just say, 'since forever.' there's no point in counting the years. and when they ask me how we met, i tell them i played the less perfect version of you in a play, once. no one ever questions that. as if, somehow, me as the less perfect version of you is part of the natural order of things. like gravity. or the sunrise.

and it's funny - they ask me the 'how' and the 'how long' - but never the why. if someone ever did ask 'why' we became friends, i'd have to think about it a minute ...

maybe i'd say it's your unique point of view or your generous nature or your mysteriously sassy sense of style ... maybe i'd say it's that i don't have to worry at all when i'm talking to you that you won't get it or that you'll get bored ... maybe i'd say it's the way i can act like an idiot and you call me 'kick ass' and never make me apologize for not being a quiet, boring girl ... maybe i'd say it's because we have the same restlessness, the same dissatisfaction with the default mode, the same idiot tendency to keep getting it wrong -even if only because it's the only way to get it a little less wrong each time ... maybe i'd say it's just nice to know that you paddle just as hard and at least sorta in the same direction.

maybe i'd say those things. maybe.

because i think the real reason we're friends is because it is the natural order of things. like gravity. or the sunrise. without you, the earth wouldn't turn and stuff wouldn't grow and life as i know it would have no life in it at all.

you are more important to me than i can ever express. you are the reason why i'm laughing, even when there's no one else around.

i love you and I MISS YOU and that's all there is to say right now. except ... that as i close my eyes in the dark of this morning, i have a very clear picture of you dancing and singing 'goldfinger' with so much soul that i absolutely believe it. so, go ahead and blow out the candles and have a piece of cake.

happy birthday, dear friend. i am so very glad you were born.